For a few months after launching this site, I would compulsively refresh my social media accounts, checking for followers, likes, comments, you name it. I’d compare myself to other people and pull my hair out when I wasn’t getting the same results. I relentlessly watched influencers on their Instagram, flying all over the world, attending awesome events, getting wined and dined, and living the dream life. I’d cry to my mentor (what feels like) nearly every other day because I wasn’t getting the traction, views, or followers I needed to live that life.
I don’t know when or how or why, but I had a breaking point.
Clearly, I wasn’t enjoying the ride. Instead, I was fixating on what I didn’t have and what wasn’t happening–even though I was finally building my own damn site from the bottom up and doing what I love every day. Still, it’s easy to be blind to that. I’d listen to podcasts with big-time entrepreneurs and roll my eyes when they said they wished they enjoyed the journey more and that money didn’t bring them more happiness.
Read: The Pressure to Have “Balance” in Your 20’s Is Garbage
But a scary thought came to me and it’s one I still think about every day.
What if I spend all this time grinding, working, fixating, feeling frustrated, and then if and when the dream, money, and goals come, I still feel unsatisfied? It’s terrifying, and it’s a story we hear time and time again. Famous performers, actors, singers, CEOs, who have everything they could ever dream of and are sometimes so unsatisfied, they end their own life.
Yes, I will still work my ass off for the dream, but I will not deprive myself of the journey, as cliche as that sounds.
Read: Sometimes You Have to Say “Fuck it” and Go to Vegas
Because feeling unfulfilled after you have it all is a real possibility for an entrepreneur, and a threatening one. So, I’ve learned to let go. I’ve learned to accept the fact that everything happens in due time and for a reason–even in the age of instant internet fame. And since I’ve taken on this mindset, I feel happier, lighter, more at ease, and also more determined and focused.
And this applies to anything–getting a raise, finding a soulmate, settling down, living whatever your dream life may be. Although I’m still learning, letting go is also the greatest and most liberating power you can have. So enjoy this ride, because one day when you have it all you may wish you had a little more.
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