I had a problem. I don’t want to speak for you guys, but I feel like it’s an issue a lot of us, regardless of what we’re doing in life, are suffering from: refreshing our Instagram feeds, desperate for high numbers next to those little pink hearts. Can we all agree that the way we allow our relief/disappointment/emotions ride on this really empty thing is actually insane?
I won’t lie, I used to be relentless. But then relentlessness started turning to resentment.
I used to drive myself insane, comparing myself to influencers and people on Instagram who would rack in millions of likes for a photo of a cup of coffee. Or their ass. Meanwhile, I’m busting mine, and get, what, 30-60 likes on something?
I’d drive myself up a wall, thinking: What do these people do or have that I don’t? Where’s the obsession coming from? Why can’t I catch a GD break? What do I have to do?
And then I had a breaking point.
First, I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I realized my journey is unlike anyone else’s, and that’s the beauty of it. I know I don’t have the biggest following, and in a world where it feels like numbers mean everything, that’s tough. But I have to work for it, and I know I’ll be more fulfilled the way I accomplish something that luck or good timing didn’t hand to me.
Second, and most importantly, the lacks of likes or followers does not devalue my hard work. Or yours. Or who we are. Measuring someone by a number next to their name is really shallow.
Once I fully accepted and embraced this mindset, I felt so much better. I felt free. I stopped checking my feed first thing in the morning while still in bed. I literally stopped looking at how many likes a photo gets. If there was a way to turn off seeing the amount of likes, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Everyone can see your trials and triumphs these days. You can’t test anything out, succeed, or fail privately anymore. But learning to let go and take on an “it is what it is” mentality will not only let you live your life, but focus on the work. And that’s what the real grind and journey of self love are all about anyway.