Well hello, it’s you again. Are you here because it’s Valentine’s Day and misery loves company?
I thought so.
It’s no secret that last year I was royally fucked by someone in a relationship. If I seem angry in the above video, that’s because I was fresh out of the fuckery. I’ve since moved on, but I figured, what better way to spend Valentine’s Day than to discuss monogamy and how realistic it actually is? Are we all fooling ourselves? Celebs Sarah Paulson, Alison Brie, Sterling K. Brown, Taylor Schilling, Aziz Ansari, Courtney B. Vance, Alan Thicke, and Ernie Hudson weighed in. But here’s a bit of a lowdown…
I never even questioned monogamy.
My parents are super in love and was always a relationship kinda gal until college came along and life became a hot-ass mess thereafter. I was single, finding myself, etc. etc. millennial problems, until love hit me when I least expected it and wasn’t even asking for it. For me, that takes a lot. But it was a perfect romance with the perfectly wrong man.
It was undoubtedly the most passionate, emotionally-intense relationship I’ve been in, and of course, it was with someone who was committed to someone else. Just why? Only I couldn’t help but see it through. I’ve heard every cliche under the sun, but for some odd reason I felt like I owed it to myself. In the moment I thought: I really am only living once, what if this is meant to be something more but the timing is off? Shit happens, and perhaps it was the universe’s way of telling me nothing is cut and dried. Also, eventually teaching me to grow TF up and stop being so naive.
We all know how this story ends, though. And although I lived out the cliche and wound up crushed, pissed, vulnerable, and destroyed, the dust settled and I really thought about it. Yes, that guy was a bad one. He was a fucker who intentionally pulled back my layers with no intent of following it through, there’s no beating around that bush. Nevertheless, the feelings were real. Maybe we are capable of loving and being invested in more than one person at a single point in time. We have feelings, we have urges. They’re messy. So is fighting them to stay with one person society’s way of forcing us to stay in its box? I’m almost glad that what happened did, because it forced me to open my eyes.
Here’s the crazy part.
After all is said and done, I still find myself wanting a monogamous relationship from marriage one day. Call me traditional or just insane. Society can be a real bitch, can’t it?