Ironically, I met Michael Douglas before he had the chance to impregnate me while I watched Basic Instinct for the first time just a few weeks ago. Still, I had an inkling to ask him about life as a sex symbol the moment I unexpectedly encountered him. Call it hormones, or maybe my alter-ego as some sort of candle-bearing witch like Kris Jenner, but in that moment, something told me that Michael and sex were one in the same. If only he wasn’t so modest. Only then could he own up to the fact that he’s one of the longest-standing DILFs walking among us. We all know Michael’s been known to have a slip of the tongue here and there.
Yes, he throws oral sex around like an Australian with a boomerang—which I admittedly love about him. But there are so many other reasons he defines sexy. Have you seen 1992 him? Were you aware that he’s capable of ripping off your shirt quicker than men run away from the Kardashian house? Or that he can move and groove like THIS:
Apparently, he owes it to his pops, Kirk. I also had no idea who Kirk was when Michael said his name, hence my blank stare. But I think Michael should own that shit and quit playing shy. Although, regardless of how highly we think of him and his undying sexuality, unless you’re Catherine Zeta-Jones, he’ll probs just be like:
Sorry ’bout it.