(To hear my Cancel Me, Baby! podcast episodes on this with behind-the-scenes stories and input, check out PT 1 on IGTV, YouTube, Spotify, or Apple, and PT 2 on IGTV, YouTube, Spotify, or Apple. As always, please share.)
Author: Taylor Ferber
IG: @talktometaylor
Four years ago, countless A-listers donned black dresses and Time’s Up pins at the Golden Globes, gloating with pride like no pageant girl you’ve ever seen. 6.9 million people tuned in to watch. I was there. As a red carpet reporter, I documented the event with passionate social media posts about how monumental this would be for women and my future daughters, while I challenged the Hollywood elite to keep the momentum by walking the walk and naming more sexual predators. I even called out celebrities’ and E!’s hypocrisy around Me Too in Huffington Post.
You’d think four years later the morale would be stronger. But unfortunately, like our culture’s ability to have a disagreement, my optimism has dried up. More than ever, I hope I will never have a loved one who survives an assault and needs to tell their story. I fear they wouldn’t be believed. And we can thank the media for that.
Recently, Business Insider published a story on Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy attempting to peg him for sexual misconduct, called, “‘I was literally screaming in pain’: Young women say they met Dave Portnoy for sex and it turned violent and humiliating.” It paints Portnoy as a racist and misogynist while highlighting two women who allege him as being rough and traumatizing during sex. But unlike recounted stories about convicted felons like R. Kelly and Harvey Weinstein, it seems the experiences were consensual. They recount “sliding” into Portnoy’s DMs and communicating with him for weeks.
Full disclosure: I met with Dave Portnoy last year about a pitch I had for Barstool, but it didn’t happen. So I’m not in bed with him (no pun intended) and don’t inherently have a stake in defending him. But when I see mainstream media, like Gawker, calling him a “piece of shit,” it feels a little aggressive.
Oddly enough, I was also in contact with BI this spring who was interested in an Op-Ed I’d penned on my Chrissy Teigen bullying experience and cancel culture. I turned it down because I felt they wanted a story that painted me as a victim which wasn’t what I wanted, and the piece ultimately ran in USA Today.
Almost immediately after BI’s piece on Portnoy was published, he posted a video speaking for himself by clarifying and denying the allegations. In an era of woke tribalism and threatening people into silence, I respected his refusal to stay quiet. His fans flooded his account showing support. But they also revealed feelings I wasn’t at all surprised by: fatigue around women “speaking out.”
There’s valid concern for men, like Portnoy, being guilty until proven innocent at the sight of one allegation that may or may not be true yet could destroy their life faster than you can say ivermectin. Hastily skewering men doesn’t actually help Me Too, but instead has created a tidal wave of people discrediting women, including those with legitimate claims that can’t be dismissed.
I don’t know what these women’s motivations are or what really happened, and none of us may ever know. This actually isn’t on them. It’s on BI for putting them in such an exposed position with a piece that has a clear bias and seemingly botched reporting.
While we’re at it, where are the exposés on infamous womanizers like Leo DiCaprio or Colin Farrell? Or on celebrities with women half their age like David Foster and Zach Braff? Last I checked, they’re celebrated. I’m not judging them. But the media is awfully particular about who they target in this arena.
Portnoy and his fans questioned if this is because he interviewed Trump and has been on Tucker Carlson. It’s been all of five minutes since the Time’s Up organization’s downfall due to exposed alliances it had with elites like Andrew Cuomo. It seems political affiliation superseded alleged victims. And it painted the cause as a complete and utter joke to anyone with a pulse. Especially someone who saw it unfold from its seemingly humble beginnings, like me.
I also don’t like how the piece and others about it portray these women as weak and incapable during their encounters with Portnoy. None of this is black and white. But if at that age, they have the right to consent to life-altering decisions like fighting in war, getting an abortion, or permanently changing their gender, it really doesn’t serve women to act as if they don’t have authority when it comes to sexual consent — or saying no.
The piece was also put behind a paywall. If these stories are important, why make people cough up change for them? Ronan Farrow would never. Portnoy subsequently invited the BI team on his podcast for a fair, open discussion they could use however they’d like, yet they turned it down to let the story “speak for itself.”
I want to see this toxic cancel culture disappear faster than David Copperfield, and love that Dave Portnoy is taking a stand while his pizza is flying off the shelves (his “One Bite” sales just outperformed any other weekend). What I can’t get behind is what the media has done to destroy what Me Too was supposed to be about.
These women will continue to get dragged because of a backlash against so many accusers. What happens when real victims of assault need attention, help, and resources? Ones who were forced against their will, perhaps drugged, coerced, or didn’t have a choice to consent? Harvey Weinstein had 87 accusers and was found guilty of rape. R. Kelly was found guilty of dozens of accusations, some including minors. Both went on for years.
In late 2019, I interviewed a handful of R. Kelly survivors. Their plea to women, especially powerful famous women, to speak out in hopes of saving and protecting people like themselves was strong and sincere. “You gotta encourage the nobodies to tell their stories so the somebodies can acknowledge it,” Faith Rodgers said. Because speaking up matters. It carries significant weight. It’s not meant to be tokenized, weaponized, or thrown around haphazardly.
That’s why I encourage BI and the mainstream media to think twice about its motivations and who and what they amplify, if they really want to help women — to report fairly on factual, non-consensual or illegal abuse with full transparency. I want the nobodies to be taken seriously and have the power of the somebodies. Not be blown off and mocked.
By the way, I pitched a piece with this input from R. Kelly survivors and their message to the Hollywood elite to every mainstream publication under the sun in November 2019. Business Insider was one of them. They didn’t pick it up. If you’re baffled by their priorities, so am I. For the sake of real victims, let’s hope they can sort them out.
Good piece!
thank you!!
Thank you for writing this! Hit pieces like the one from BI on Portnoy (and others like the babe.net aziz ansari article IMO) are so damaging to actual victims who want to come forward, and the me too movement as a whole! Poorly written, poorly researched, Business insider should be embarrassed by all of this. They will apparently publish anything for some clicks – I will never trust or click on an article by them again.
agreed. has such an opposite effect of what is right and good. sad..
All of this. Great article, Taylor. Thank you for articulating something so many are feeling.
Thank you!! So glad it resonated
Totally agreed! I really loved this peice. Ironically, it’s very brave of you. Appreciate this! I have personally known men that have been falsely accused to amplify peoples Twitter followings etc. totally sick. And those men btw are suicidal. But if I speak up on behalf of my friend IM the issue? There needs to be more accountability for people using a movement to gain traction and fame it’s totally disgusting.
I’m so sorry to hear that so sad. I hope they’re doing better now. I know, it’s so sad that this can’t be acknowledged .. too far
Excellent article. Everyone knew the BI hit piece was a sham the moment they hid it behind a pay wall. If what is done behind closed doors between adults is consentual, then it just becomes a gossip magazine with no merit.
yup, keyword is consent. and thank you!
Viva!!
hes not gonna fuck you sweetie
didn’t want him to but thx!!!!!
#freeportnoy
Thank you for writing this. I’m tired of the media spewing lies and getting away with it, whatever the topic may be. It discredits future stories whether they’re true or not. It’s time to hold them accountable. Enough is enough
amen
Thank you for your open minded honest evaluation of what’s really happening out there. You are 💯 correct. The media and the false accusers are only hurting the real victims out there. Kind of like the boy who cried wolf. I worked criminal investigations for 12 years in Los Angeles, and I can tell you at least half of sexual assault cases are bogus. Either buyers remorse, covering their tracks so their husbands or parents don’t know the truth, or an attempt at extortion from the well to do man involved. It’s all sick and absolutely unfortunately creates a backlash and issue for true victims.
wowwwww. that is so crazy and sad. but I appreciate you sharing your story, it needs to be said!
I love this. I, too, am numb to claims of sexual misconduct on a man, specifically because of how many women cry “rape!”. I understand some have legitimately experienced such horrific things – but how are we supposed to know when so many are fake cries in pursuit of an agenda?
100 percent .. like everything in our culture it’s gone too far and isn’t helping us
Really well written and I agree!
appreciate it, thanks!
Thank you for showing what the standard of journalism should look like.
so sad what it’s become. thank you
You wrote what I’ve been thinking for a long time. Completely agree and glad Dave is pushing back. BI is trying to capitalize on his fame to get clicks on a story and it’s sickening and hurts the movement
exactly. so many people feel this way but get in trouble if they say it out loud.. sad
Is your life that pathetic that you come up with bullshit like this? People like you are whats wrong with society. Have a shitty day and fuck you loser
That is so kind John Doe, thank you!!!!!!!!!!
Nice way to attack a woman while protecting women! Clown!
exactly LOL that was special
I owe you an apology, I mistook you for the wrong person. Sorry. Have a good day (not a shitty day). And forget all that other stuff
You are a loser lolol there isn’t any substance to anything in this article what a waste of time reading this! #cloutchasers
That is such a nice comment! You must really dislike women, good luck with that!
We live in a weird(o) society… like seriously… weirdos control the the majority of social narrative… and if they don’t like how you conduct yourself or what ideologies you align with they will Strangely take it personal and maliciously try to destroy you… they’ll do it to a person they may have never even met but they don’t like your comment on a post or something… They just hate the idea who you might be in their mind because You don’t agree with every single thing they agree with so you must be evil?!? Like seriously… the social climate we live in is fked.
yup pretty much
Taylor he was talking about you, but you’re too dumb to get it. Evil weirdo.
Well said and articulately put. It’s sad that I am saying it is brave of you to write the truth when nobody else would because this shouldn’t have to be an act of bravery.
Great piece.
thank you and I know, sad the way it is
This is Mccarthyism. You use your platform to spread false information because you know people will back your outrageous claims against such a polarizing figure. Taylor, you have the gall to write lies about the man but don’t have the backbone to sit in front of him. What a joke.
My bad that was aimed at Julia Black not you Taylor
Taylor, great piece! I too, have tried to “pitch” to Portnoy through Instagram DM’s. The dude’s too busy defending himself against the Portnoy fear-mongers. This is all politics and fortunately for Dave, he’s got a big mouth and a bigger following and knows how to use both! In Barstool we Trust!
Thanks Shelby!
Thank you for this – especially the part about stories like this making it seem like women are feeble-minded people who have no agency or ability to say no. What’s even worse is so many people who claim to be feminists agree with this. Somehow women are strong and capable of speaking their mind – except when it comes to sex (especially if a celebrity is involved.) Apparently, it’s not on women to express their desires clearly – and when they don’t – it’s entirely the man’s fault for not being a mind reader or for taking their consent at face value.
I agree, I talked about this more on my podcast the morning after the BI piece was published. Here’s the link if you want to check it out: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0jcpe7CoJmbbdqAxZeiwBK
Thanks for the link
Cancel culture in general is not only unfair and rash it’s also very expensive. As soon as an actor is accused of anything he is fired from a show or his scenes are filmed over in a movie he’s appeared in even before there’s even an investigation! No one can tell me that the entertainment industry doesn’t lose any money this way! Movies that are kept in the can, engagements cancelled. Books dropped by the publisher. Characters written out of tv series. It’s all madness, really.
When the #@%* hits the fan women are going to be hurt in the worse way, and as a women it makes me livid! #metoo is not a movement of empowerment as at. It is a petty bourgeoisie movement for accusers to meet their own selfish ambitions at the expense of the accused. It also seems to be about perpetual victimhood as opposed to real empowerment! I mean, seriously-a young woman of 22 years of age is not 12 and society needs to stop treating her as such!
madness is the perfect way to describe it. books being dropped and virtually “burned” are especially disturbing. these companies need to grow a backbone, enough is enough.
and yes as far as me too, it has gone too far and in so many ways is now hurting women, so sad. I also can’t STAND the victimhood narrative that is constantly portrayed, I talk about it on my podcast all the time. So are women empowered or victims??? the media is confused. and portraying us constantly as victims is my biggest pet peeve, it just disempowers women
I just saw on Twitter that BI is about to drop another hit piece on Dave Portnoy. I read that just this morning. What the hell is wrong with the media?!
relentless .. like there aren’t other things to be focusing on